A month after the death of their son in Ukraine, the parents of Callum Tindal-Draper have announced a memorial to be held in his honour.
The gathering is planned for the winter solstice on December 21 at 3pm on Kit Hill outside Callington.
The former Duchy student from Gunnislake was reported missing in action while fighting alongside Ukraine forces at just 22 years of age. He joined the 1st Battalion Kenobi Drone unit of the International Legion Defence of Ukraine this summer and lost his life while defending an observation point.
His family announced the memorial to their son to give the community the opportunity to pay tribute to his bravery and courage. Callum’s father Steven Draper. “It’s been the most difficult and incredibly painful month of my and my wife’s life but the support from people in the community, colleagues and family has been unbelievable. There’s not a word to describe how comforting that has been. Without that support it would have been so much harder.”
The family have not only had to come to terms with Callum’s death but also the administration and legalities of dealing with a death in the war zone of a foreign country.
The Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (FCDO) and the RT Weatherman Foundation have been incredibly supportive and helpful, Steven explained. The privately funded, US-based foundation works on the frontline in Ukraine, assisting and repatriating injured soldiers as well as working with families of those missing in action.
Their support has been a lifeline for the family during the last weeks dealing with administration surrounding Callum’s death. They have built connections with families in similar situations who have come forward since hearing of Callum’s death; one family also had a son serving alongside Callum who was reported missing in action.
The gathering at 3pm on the winter solstice at Kit Hill has a special significance for the family. The location always gave nature lover Callum a sense of freedom with its views half over Devon and half over Cornwall, explained his father Steven. “We want to go to Kit Hill, watch the sunset and toast Callum. He was embarrassed at big parties and grand ceremonies”, Steven added, “but he loved nature and animals.”
From there the family will be returning to their home at Gunnislake and they are asking people who are thinking of attending to bring a lit candle in a jar to place in their garden. It’s a space they feel connected to Callum who spent lots of time working there, even winning a Tavistock Times Gazette gardening competition during Covid. The family are also planning to hang lights on the front of the garden in Ukrainian colours. There will be mince pies and wine, and maybe even Callum’s favourite tipple, a rum and coke.
His family has also organised a Justgiving page to support the work of anti-bullying charity BulliesOut in Callum’s name. His parents chose this particular charity to remember his work in standing up to bullies. Steven said: “I thought there’d be some really big charities out there that have huge budgets to support people but there isn’t. They operate on a shoestring. If we can raise £1,000 or £1,500, that would be great.”
Callum’s insistence that you should always stand up to bullies, even if that bully is a country, led him to go to Ukraine, Steven explained: “Callum suffered significant bullying during his school years, especially years 4 and 5, getting to a point where he had to move schools.
“He vowed never to let himself be bullied again, or allow others to be bullied.”
He was on the school council while a student at Duchy College and worked to stop bullying. One student, Steven explained, wouldn’t have finished their course if Callum hadn’t stepped in. “It takes courage to stand up when others are bullied. He lived by that and called people out,” said Steven.
“He was adamant we should have done something when Crimea was taken. Sometimes you need to stand up despite the risks and face the aggressor eye to eye.”
Callum always talked about the importance of leaving a legacy. During his time working in care both in the Tavistock community and Derriford Hospital, he came to realise that people who had ‘done something’ with their lives were more comfortable facing their death. “He couldn’t bare the thought that he just stood by and did nothing,” Steven said.
“I gave him the biggest hug when he was leaving and said to him, there were a million other things I wish he was doing, but we were so proud. His bravery and courage will be part of us now for the rest of our lives.”
Steven is asking those wishing to join the family on December 21 to message him directly on Facebook or email [email protected].